‘How to Survive a Human Attack’ is a Must Read for All Movie Monsters

Books Entertainment Reviews

Did you know human attacks account for a staggering 100 percent of premature deaths for witches, swamp monsters, cyborgs, and other supernatural, mutant, and exceptionally large beings? Therefore, it is important for all monsters to gain a better understanding of humans and what to do to avoid them and stay alive, or undead, as the case may be. With Halloween coming up the end of the month, those looking for a good book to get into the spooky spirit will enjoy How to Survive a Human Attack: A Guide for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters.

What Is How to Survive a Human Attack?

How to Survive a Human Attack is a humorous book written as a survival guide for movie monsters. K.E. Flann is the author with illustrations by Joseph McDermott. The book is published by Running Press. It is available in a paperback edition, which can be purchased at your local bookstore as well as several online sellers including Amazon with a suggested retail price of $15.99.  A Kindle digital version is also available. The suggested retail price for both editions is $24.95. 

How to Survive a Human Attack is divided into two parts: Understanding Humans (the first two chapters) and Species Specific Survival Guides. Here is a look at the individual chapters:

  • Introduction: This is Not Your Grandfather’s Homo Sapiens
  • The Basics
  • Frequently Asked Questions about Snaking and Mortality:” A Zombie’s guide to Filling the Emptiness and Moving Forward
  • Swamp Monster Makeovers: Fabulous Species-Defying transformations to Win Friends and Confuse People
  • First-Time Haunters Guide for Ghosts, Spirits, Poltergeists, Specters, and Wraiths: How to Evict Squatters, Stay on Top of Mansion Disrepair, and Avoid Going to the Light
  • Self-Training 101 for Werewolves: Sit, Don’t Speak, Stay Alive!
  • Decode Angry Feelings Using C++: A Workbook for Androids and Cyborgs.
  • Home Safety for Mummies: Welcome to the Third Eye Tomb Security System
  • The 6(66) Habits of Highly Effective Witches: Powerful Lessons in Survival Management
  • ‘What’s Happening to My Body?’: Radioactive Mutants and the Safety of the Nuclear Family
  • USA! USA!: Exceptionally Large Beings and the Unanticipated Stress of Acknowledgement (Large Print Edition)
  • The Benefits of Collaborative Consumption: A New Employee Handbook for Swarms, Flocks, Schools, Droves, Broods, Colonies, Murders, and Hordes
  • Sheltering and Aging in Place: Tech Made Easy for Vampires
  • Appendix I: A Compendium of Human Repellants
  • Appendix II: A Field Guide to Humans
  • Appendix III: Tables and Illustrations on the Human Temperament
basics chapter start
It is important for all monsters to know the basics about humans. Image courtesy of Running Press.

Why Should You Read How to Survive a Human Attack?

How to Survive a Human Attack is a fun and quick read. In fact, the way it the book is divided into chapters, each with a new topic, makes it easy to pick it up and read a chapter before setting it down to read more later. Written in a similar vein to Max Brooks’ World War Z, this book takes itself seriously while readers will find it humorous in the style of a mockumentary. Even the author, K.E. Flann is billed as a renowned preternaturalist. While it is written with fans of monster movies in mind, it is not a requirement to watch all of the Universal monster movies in order to enjoy this book. In fact, readers may instead want to watch or rewatch classic monster movies after finishing each chapter relevant to specific types of monsters.

chapter on radioactive mutants
The chapter for radioactive mutants is themed like a pamphlet for teenagers and puberty. Image courtesy of Running Press.

I really enjoyed the style of the prose in this book, as if I am reading material not meant for human eyes. Rather than a novel, this book is written like a series of short stories with each ‘story’ composed like a monster self-help guide or instruction manual. Even the fonts and formatting of chapters vary. The text of the chapter for exceptionally large beings is a larger font to help their huge eyes. Even the illustrations add to the theme of the book as they are spread liberally throughout. A passage from the introduction reads: “Let’s say you can only be killed by a rare weapon found only in the Amazon–this once meant a human would need to go on a long quest to procure the thing that could kill you. Today, that human has already ordered it on Amazon an it’s being overnighted to their doorstep.” How to Survive a Human Attack is definitely written for monsters trying to survive in the 21st century.  For example, the chapter for Vampires helps these centuries old senior citizens become acquainted with how to use a computer and the intricacies of social media. On the other hand, the chapter for androids and cyborgs is written like a manual teaching a programming language, complete with samples of code and a certificate of completion at the end for finishing the training. 

I had a great time reading How to Survive a Human Attack. You don’t have to be a fan of monsters to enjoy it, but those familiar with the tropes of these movies will have a greater appreciation as they read. In fact, there really is something for everyone. Those who have studied computer science will note that one of the sample coding entries contains “Hello World” which is part of the first line of code one writes as they are learning a new programming language. Even after reading it once, it is fun to go back through the book to look for these little hidden gems. If you are looking for something to read that is is both clever and original, with a lot of dry humor throughout, then I recommend How to Survive a Human Attack. It just may save the life or un-livelihood of yourself or a monster with whom you are close. 

For more information, check out the How to Survive a Human Attack page on Amazon.


Disclosure: GeekDad received a copy of this book for review purposes.

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