Reading Time: 3 minutes
As the new year gets underway, we all begin to look expectantly toward those things we know will happen in the near future. I’ve compiled a short list of some highlights for this year:
1. Snake Plisskin will escape from L.A., which is now both an island and a maximum security prison. Along the way he will rescue the daughter of the theocratic President-for-life of the US and thwart said President’s plans for world domination by deactivating all technology on Earth.
2. That may turn out to be a good thing, because the Sentinels will take over the world and institute an oppressive regime that will round up and confine mutants in concentration camps. Fortunately, Kitty (now Kate) Pryde, with the aid of Rachel Summers, will send her consciousness back to 1980 to inhabit her younger self and warn the X-Men, so they can prevent the event that causes this future to occur in “Days of Future Past.”
3. Meanwhile, the Postman wanders the decimated wastelands of Oregon following the global collapse of society.
4. America will finally lose the War on Drugs, and abuse of a powerful drug called “Substance D” will reach epidemic proportions. Undercover agent Fred, AKA Bob Arctor, will try to infiltrate the drug trade in A Scanner Darkly.
5. On the other hand, The Book of Eli declares that the world will be decimated by nuclear apocalypse in 2013, and 30 years later nomadic people will have memorized entire books and will share them with one another.
6. The Ghosts, an elite U.S. Army Special Forces squad, will enter Mexico City during an insurgence, rescue the President of the United States, recover a missing nuclear football, and prevent rebels from acquiring a secret US device called Guardrail IX, utilizing military hardware that didn’t officially exist at the time of Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter‘s 2006 release.
7. Bart and Lisa Simpson both graduate from high school in 2013, according to Professor Frink’s future-predicting machine in the episode “Future-Drama” (2005).
8. The 2013 World’s Fair will be hosted by the city of Metropolis, at least according to Clark Kent’s prophetic dream in the Smallville Season 9 finale, “Salvation.” Of course, the festivities are interrupted by General Zod’s attempt to take over the world.
It appears the world of fictional entertainment holds a dim view of our prospects for 2013; perhaps the best thing to do is just enjoy some entertainment while waiting for whatever’s coming, whether that’s giant robots, aliens, nuclear war or just grown-up Simpson offspring. Good luck!