Daily #DadJoke for March 04, 2016
Two hours before giving birth to our son, my wife yelled “Can’t! Won’t! Shouldn’t! Couldn’t! Isn’t! They’re! Don’t!”
Continue ReadingTwo hours before giving birth to our son, my wife yelled “Can’t! Won’t! Shouldn’t! Couldn’t! Isn’t! They’re! Don’t!”
Continue ReadingWhy can’t ladies ask their male siblings for help?
Continue ReadingWhy are Blitzen, Donner, and Comet always soaking wet?
Continue ReadingMy daughter, Nora, saw a sign that read “Watch Batteries Installed – $5.00″…
Continue ReadingDuring the great flood, where did Noah keep the bees?
Continue ReadingWhy should you never mention the number 288?
Continue ReadingI just watched a documentary on how construction workers piece together iron girders…
Continue ReadingWhy do cows wear bells?
Continue ReadingA magician in Spain had a trick where he disappeared on the count of three…
Continue ReadingWhy is it tradition to tell actors to “break a leg?”
Continue ReadingI just bought my parents an elephant, for their living room…
Continue ReadingA man goes into a doctor, saying he eats only pool balls…
Continue ReadingThe problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all …
Continue ReadingAs my friend from London entered the Immigration office at the Sydney airport…
Continue ReadingHow do you drown a hipster?
Continue ReadingWhy did the chicken attend the seance?
Continue ReadingDespite copious studies of over 14 million children around the world showing zero relation between vaccines and autism, the anti-vax myth still runs rampant. Instead of defending science, appeal to your friends’ humanity, and slip the logic to them with humor and compassion.
Continue ReadingAt what age is it appropriate to tell a Highway…
Continue ReadingAfter defeating the Wicked Witch with Dorothy, the Tin Man fell into a life of crime…
Continue ReadingWhen I studied calculus in college, I never let my classmates attend beer bashes…
Continue ReadingThis is my daughter Nora’s favorite knock-knock joke…
Continue ReadingHow would you feel after crossing a Lassie with a cantaloupe?
Continue ReadingI went past a building that had an osteopath on one side and a medical marijuana dispensary on the other…
Continue ReadingIf Apple made a car…
Continue ReadingWhy don’t you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree?
Continue ReadingI overheard a conversation between a brain surgeon and an anesthesiologist…
Continue ReadingCounting them out in his field, a farmer determined he had 196 cows…
Continue ReadingI would like to have an open conversation about the participation of minorities in the America’s Cup…
Continue ReadingBy definition, aren’t all atheist organizations…
Continue ReadingSo now I’m addicted to brake fluid…
Continue Reading