Sick of political news? Well, too bad, my friend. The run for the White House has yet to end. But don’t despair; rather, strike up the band. We have the perfect candidate to run our land! He’s hip, he’s cool, he’s quick with his wit. He’s got such vim and vigor, he’s very much “it.” He’s a staunch independent, he won’t choose a side. Now, please, won’t you let this nice cat inside?
Now you may hear talk from goldfish, filling you with doubt, claiming he should not be in while mother is out. Bosh, we say, and nonsense as well. What do goldfish know? Why, they can’t even spell. Ignore them, I say, don’t take advice from a pet. When it comes to politics, fish are all wet.
Running mates you ask? A good question, true. Why, he has a pair: Thing 1 and Thing 2. On alternate days, one Thing will be Veep. On every other day, the other will sleep. This is new and dramatic, it’s never been tested! This way you’ll be assured of a vice who is rested. The days of the week are odd, you say? Not a problem, old chum; we’ll close Saturday.
The Cat in the Hat is 50 this year, and to celebrate this, Aurora is making it clear that he’s simply tip-top, the best of Gen X. So they made up this plush to give some respects. Instead of a candidate who is stuffy and dry, why not one who is stuffed and spry? Aurora World’s Cat is plush and cuddly. He’s also quite handsome. (Dare we even say studly?)
So he’s got my endorsement, and more than that, I say. I’ve partnered with Aurora for a toy giveaway. Simply fill out the form that you see below and enter a chance for this fine feline fellow. Three winners we’ll have, not merely one. That’s three people enjoying catacular fun. Oh, the games that you’ll play, oh the places you’ll go. Oh whoops, sorry—wrong book, don’tcha know.
We will choose the lucky souls via random number generator, then our partner will ship cats out via freighter. Winners will be chosen in one week, 3/12, at midnight Pacific Time. (You’ve no idea how hard it is to make disclaimers rhyme.)