7 Things Responsible Parents Should Know About ‘Deadpool’ (Only 1 of Them Matters)

Deadpool

1. What is it?

Part origin story, part comedy show, Deadpool is the story of the “merc with the mouth,” a mercenary who has gained accelerated healing and amazing physical abilities, thanks to a genetic research project. This is not your average Marvel adventure. It is a MATURE movie, intended for MATURE audiences.

2. Will I like it?

If you don’t, I feel sorry for you. Deadpool is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. I know that I will have to go see it again next week, just to catch all the lines I missed because the entire audience was laughing so loud. From beginning to end, the laughter in our theater was almost nonstop. The action was great, but better than the fights and violence, Ryan Reynolds is so incredibly perfect in his lines, it was fantastic. The humor is base and raunchy; still, Reynolds’ softened delivery makes each horrible offense seem sugary sweet. On top of that, the movie is nicely (but not overly) self-referential and, as you can tell from the trailers, the breaking of the fourth wall is fun. (You can almost see the typewriter font.) Thankfully, it’s not overdone. It all fits with Deadpool’s breaking of the fourth wall (panel?) in comic books.

3. Will my kids like it?

Your kids aren’t going to see it because you’re a good parent, right? Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do with your kids, but this is a very hard “R”-rated movie. There is violence, nudity, and language — all in very strong quantity. There are a lot of amputations, crotch shots (punches), crotch shots (full frontal), and an almost constant stream of sexual innuendo and outright vulgarities. To top it off, you’d get carpal tunnel trying to count the profanities. I went with another dad to preview it before taking our kids — which we really wanted to do. We came to the conclusion that we couldn’t justify taking our 14-year-olds. It was just too much. You? You make your own choice. But don’t take younger kids. You’ll be ridiculed.

4. Are there unicorns in the movie?

Oh God. Yes.

5. We went out for drinks before the movie. When can we safely hit the bathroom without missing much?

That’s a bold strategy and one that might help you enjoy the movie even more. But remember, Uber or drive responsibly. The movie clocks in at an hour and 48 and a break may be necessary. I am not exaggerating when I say that the banter and funny lines are almost nonstop during the entire movie. However, there’s a scene of Wade beginning to mutate, about an hour in. Go then. But move quickly!

6. Were there any good previews before the movie?

There were quite a few previews, including Eddie the Eagle (with Wolverine!)Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, X-Men Apocalypse, Captain America: Civil War, Gods of Egypt (which looks like it might be a bust of Ishtar proportions), 10 Cloverfield Lane, and The Witch, which I hadn’t heard about before but looks suitably creepy.

7. Do I need to stay after the credits?

Of course you do, it’s a Marvel movie. And Deadpool has an extra scene that is my favorite Marvel end scene so far. Like the rest of the movie, it’s hilarious. It’s at the very end and, it takes a split second to get, but, oh boy, is it ever good.

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