2015: The Year We Survived the Great Christmas Tree Disaster

Reading Time: 3 minutes

‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas
And all through the house
There came a mad yelling
A sad, angry grouse

We all came a-running
Just to stop and to stare
For the tree had come down
Disney ornaments strewn everywhere

Sparkly shards on the carpet
And broken cartoons
We realized our Christmas
Must surely be doomed

Jack and Zero survived, but Lilo and Stitch didn't.
Jack and Zero survived, but Lilo and Stitch didn’t.

For the tree was all bent
To awkward degrees
(Yes it was fake,
Don’t judge us, please)

The in-laws would come
The very next day
If there was no tree
Just what would they say?

But Mother and Father
With steely glares set
Said,”We can survive this,
“We’re not beaten yet!”

“To the home store we’ll go,”
Said Mom and Son 1
“You two clean up and see
“How much damage was done.”

They were off in a blink
And the rest set to task
But the damage was dire
The job would not be fast

With vacuum and trash bag
Father and Son 2
Triaged the site
And learned the victims were not few

Tinkerbell’s wings
And Jack Skellingtons’s arms
And dear little Lilo
Had all come to harm

But alas worst of all
Was the king of the tree
The Mickey Santa Topper
Was cracked head to knee

Then came the call,
“We’re at the blue store,
But the aisles are empty,
The trees are no more!”

The silence was thick
Would this setback end her?
“Never give up,” said Mom,
“Never surrender!”

“We’ll go to the red store,
And call you from there.”
“Good luck,” Dad wished them
“And may the traffic be fair!”

Meanwhile the clean-up
Proceeded apace
Dead tree to the trash bin
Freeing up space

At last the tree area
Was cleared of debris
The remaining ornaments
Lined up to see

And Mom called them back
With joy in her tone
“We found the last tree!
“And we’re bringing it home!”

“The red store was empty
But for one lone display.
They agreed to a discount
If we’ll take it away!”

Short minutes later
They arrived with a cheer
The new tree included
Stowed in the rear

We brought it inside
And placed it just there
Everyone pitched in
To decorate with care

The tree skirt went down
And then the Monorail Train
And the survivors were hung
All to holiday refrain

And when all was said,
And when all was done
The family stepped back
And smiled all as one

“Boy, that was close!”
We said with a smile
“But we all pulled together,
“And did something worthwhile”

So whatever disaster
This year may befall you
Remember that together
There’s nothing you can’t do.

2015-12-24 07.47.26
The last Christmas tree to be found!

Yes, the above story is pretty much true. As we were cleaning up last night (12/23) a confluence of events resulted in our Christmas tree falling over and catastrophically breaking both itself, and a number of the Disney ornaments we’ve collected over the years. And while there was an immediate gnashing of collective teeth, we all sucked it up and sprang into motion. The end result was finding the last available tree at our local Target (after trying other home-improvement stores), which was a display unit they sold to us at a discount (thanks to Devon!), getting it back home, and re-decorated with the remaining ornaments (we’re going to Disneyland next week, and will replace the broken ones), in time for the holiday. And now we have a story we’ll tell for years to come, about how – as a family – we worked through what could have been a Christmas Disaster. Happy Holidays!

Get the Official GeekDad Books!