“You had me at Hello.” No thanks. That’s not necessary.
“I wish I knew how to quit you…” Really? Grow up, cowboy!
“I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.” Ewwww, let go already, idiot. The boat sank!!
Valentine’s Day is coming and unimaginative (I mean romantic) fools everywhere are busting out the movie love quotes. Those same pleas of helpless, undying, unconditional saccharine dribble we hear are meant to bring out the innocent flirt or unbridled passion in all of us, but honestly, they really make me throw up in my mouth a little.
Settle down, now. Don’t brand me as cynical and unromantic. Okay, I’ll admit to the first, but I’m certainly not unromantic. I just know we literate and loyal geek culture inhabitants can do better.
Why go to rom-coms or tearjerkers for love quotes? We have a world of comic books, superheroes, video games, sci-fi movies, television shows, and books to provide us with a much larger pool of romantic, encouraging, and inspiring commentary tailor-made for your fangirl or boy paramour or pal.
A simple paper heart with a well-suited quote printed out or handwritten (oooh, better yet) with that perfect phrase or inside joke that says “You and I are the same kind of weird” can mean so much more than any expensive or impersonal gift. You don’t have to completely cheap out, however. Just attach one of these to a single rose, candy bar, or action figure. I’ll even give you some starting points. Here are some of my picks for quote-heavy sources from the bleeding obvious to the more obscure.
Star Wars (the movies):
Feel free to venture into the extended universe for more.
“Scoundrel? I like the sound of that.” — Han Solo
“I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee.” — Leia
“When I’m around you, my mind is no longer my own.” — Crazy Anakin
“My love for you is a puzzle…for which I have no answers.” — Padmé
And, let’s say the last one together:
“I love you.” — Leia
“I know.” — Han
(You can flip this Empire Strikes Back quote around with Leia responding “I know,” as she did in Return of the Jedi.)
Superheroes (both comic and movie sources):
“Love should never be a secret.” — Dr. Otto Octavius, Spider-Man 2
“I cannot preach hate and warfare when I am a disciple of peace and love!” — Wonder Woman
“I’d rather not rule the earth. I just want to marry the girl next door and live in the suburbs.” — Captain Dynamo (This one is a great inside joke because this Image Comics character was a habitual womanizing pig.)
“Face it, Tiger, you just hit the jackpot.” — Mary Jane Watson
“Waves are but water. Wind but air. And though lightning be fire…yet it must answer thunder’s call.” — Thor Odinson (Not technically a “love quote,” but who wouldn’t want to hear this from him?)
“…love is not a constantly stable factor, it’s (a decision you’ll) have to make again and again.” — Black Panther (great for long-term relationships)
“They were young. They were in love. They were heroes.” — Narration about Jean Grey and Cyclops in The Uncanny X-Men #137
“Paradise unearned is but a land of shadows!” — The Silver Surfer
“In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight.” — Green Lantern
“I should break your face for that, but that would not teach you of love.” — Slaughterman
“When you look in her eyes and she’s looking back in yours… everything… feels… not quite normal.” — Peter Parker (about Mary Jane), Spider-Man
“Let’s face it, this is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.” — Tony Stark (to Pepper Potts), Iron Man
“I think you need a Doctor.” — Ninth Doctor (to Rose Tyler…and hopefully me someday)
“Hello, Sweetie.” — River Song (to Eleventh Doctor)
“You have that face on again… The one when you’re thinking ‘he’s hot when he’s clever.'” — The Eleventh (to everyone)
“I’m going to pull time apart for you.” — Amy Pond
“Does it need saying?” — Tenth Doctor (to Rose Tyler)
“You were fantastic, absolutely fantastic! And you know what? So was I.” — Ninth Doctor
“Come on then, Sexy!” — Eleventh Doctor (to his TARDIS, in human form)
“Hello, I’m…Sexy.” — Idris (aka, the TARDIS)
…and also from Idris, who had the best lines: “Biting’s excellent. It’s like kissing. Only there’s a winner.”
The Lord of the Rings:
“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world.” — Arwen
“Love or an act of kindness that are the things that keep darkness age bay.” — Gandalf
“Loyalty, honor, a willing heart, I can ask no more than that.” — Thorin Oakenshield
“My precious…” — Gollum
“I’m looking for someone to share in an adventure.” — Gandalf
“I merely want(ed) to gaze upon your magnificence.” — Bilbo (To Smaug)
And for that special someone with the right sense of humor, I couldn’t resist: “Aren’t you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers.” — Kili (to Tauriel)
Because good gamers can make anything romantic.
“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.” — Half-Life 2
“Stay frosty.” — Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
“Wakka wakka wakka!” — Pac-Man
“Fus-ro-dah!” — The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
“Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said ‘Goodbye’ and you were like ‘NO WAY!’ and then I was all ‘We pretended we were going to murder you’? That was great.” — GladDOS from Portal 2
“It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum…and I’m all out of gum.” — Duke Nukem
“Brainy is the new sexy.” — Irene Adler (to Sherlock)
“I may be on the side of angels, but don’t think for one second I’m one of them.” — Sherlock Holmes
“The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future are my privilege.” — John Watson (to Mary…sniff)
…and one little Season 3 spoiler… “Did you miss me?” — Moriarty (to everyone)
Other Nerdy Television Fun:
“Why did you marry her?” — Spock
“It seemed the logical thing to do at the time.” — Sarek, Star Trek
“If you prick me, do I not… leak? — Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation
“Nice Legs… for a human.” — Worf, Star Trek: The Next Generation
“I married me a powerful ugly creature.” — Jayne Cobb, Firefly
“Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same.” — Cersei Lannister, Game of Thrones
“Have you ever been told you’re beautiful in flawless Russian? Get used to it.” — Howard Wolowitz, The Big Bang Theory
“We’re like changing electric and magnetic fields; you can’t have one, without the other.” — Howard Wolowitz, Big Bang Theory (from his song to Bernadette)
And some other random geeky treasures:
“As You Wish.” — Westley, The Princess Bride
“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” — Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows (interesting enough this is also Matthew 6:21)
“Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.” — Albert Einstein
“Say ‘Kiss me.'” — Deckard, Blade Runner
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss
“…sometimes, when you fall, you fly.” — Neil Gaiman, The Sandman: Fables and Reflections
“Every lover is, in his heart, a madman, and, in his head, a minstrel.” — Neil Gaiman, Stardust
“Don’t Panic.” — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. — Douglas Adams
Still feeling a little “quote impaired?” I’ve included two templates for you to print out, cut out, and hand out freely. Need any further inspiration? Check out my free printable Valentines’ suggestion from last February, as I am not above shameless self-promotion.
Hope these little snippets of nerdy love help you win your true love’s heart, share a laugh with a good friend, or keep Mom off her “you never call me” kick for another month.
Consider this my gift to you, my wonderful readers because as George McFly said, “You are my density.”