Wired.com: I love the doodles on the back of your book. You did them? Has D&D brought out the inner artist in you?
D&D-themed doodles on the back cover of the book.
Mazzanoble: You like them? Thank you! I was pretty reluctant to do that because of an incident with a critical kindergartener when I was in 5th grade. I volunteered to be a “big sister” and got paired up with this little boy who said he wanted to learn how to draw a dog. I loved dogs so I thought, no problem! But … well … he wasn’t impressed. He actually said to me, “You suck at drawing.” (This is only one of the reasons children terrify me. See Chapter 7 if you want to know why else.) D&D may have expanded my doodling repertoire but I’m pretty sure my inner artist is still too scared to come out.
Wired.com: You met your husband through your job at Wizards — congrats. Sounds like a D&D love story. Can you talk a little about what it’s like falling in love with and marrying a person who “gets you” as a gamer?
Mazzanoble: That is probably a better question for him as he’s been a gamer all his life. The fact that I have ever even seen a d20 is a huge bonus as far as he’s concerned. I think it’s important in a relationship for each person to have their own interests but something like gaming can be really good for couples. Gamers are passionate people and gaming can take up a considerable amount of time, so it’s really nice to have your significant other sit next to you at the table. Consider it bonding. While I don’t think it’s appropriate to work out your issues “in game,” it is kind of nice to have that outlet. Maybe I don’t care about wet towels on the new duvet but my character sure does. Bam!
Wired.com: Name one of your favorite monsters and why.
Mazzanoble: I have always been partial to beholders. Maybe because I can draw them. Maybe because they always look like they’re smiling. Maybe because I am secretly terrified of them and calling them my favorite is a half-baked attempt to make them like me.
Wired.com: Who plays you in the Hallmark Hall of Fame version of this book? Who plays you in the Michael Bay-directed version?
Mazzanoble: Oh wow! What if Michael Bay and Hallmark finally teamed up? It’s a dream come true! But then I guess Megan Fox is out of the question? I think Zooey Deschanel would work in both versions because unlike me, she has this amazing ability to make awkward, goofy and neurotic somehow charming. And we both have dark hair.
Wired.com: Rumor (or truth) has it that Wizards is revising D&D’s rules again. (This would be D&D edition 5.0). What do you think needs fixing? What for you is your least favorite aspect of the game or least favorite rule?
Mazzanoble: My least favorite rule is the one that says for instance if the DM rolls an 18 against my AC and my AC is 18, then the DM hits. That’s crazy! Everyone knows the tie goes to the player! At least that’s how it always was on the playground. If you got to first base at the same time the guy playing first did, the tie always went to the runner. Well, the PC is the “runner” in D&D. At least in my games they are. Remember when R&D changed magic missile from auto-hit to having to roll to see if you hit? Then they changed it back to auto-hit? Well, I like to think that’s because of my constant griping. I’m kind of like a lobbyist for magic users. So yeah, I guess you can say we’re always revising rules. I make it my mission!
Wired.com: Any final words of wisdom for those seeking ways to apply D&D wisdom to real life?
Mazzanoble: A really good nugget of advice that I learned from Dungeons & Dragons is from the tagline, “Never split the party.” It’s essentially saying, “Everyone stick together — things might get ugly.” Personally, I think those are words to live by and have found myself quoting them on more than one occasion. My family and some of my friends don’t play D&D, so when they hear this they might just cock their heads and raise an eyebrow, but they get it. I have their backs and they have mine.
