The claim of an IQ score is that it’s unchanging through your life — an accurate measurement of your innate intelligence. The same can’t be said of your child’s estimation of your IQ, which ebbs and flows depending on factors like how much you’ve recently spent on toys and whether or not your child is a teenage girl.

• IQC= Your child’s (estimated) IQ

• H= Average waking hours per day you spend with said child.

• \$= Dollars spent on recreational activities and/or toys for child in most recent 7 days

• ER= Number of trips to the emergency room for child-related injury or illness in past year.

• G= Child’s gender: if male, enter 1; if female, enter 2.

• A= If your child’s age is between 8 and 18, enter the age in years. If older or younger, enter 8 (or 18…)

And many of you were perceptive enough to look behind the letters to the equation’s design, including the following:

• Obviously, if you spend more hours with your child, spend more money on him/her and contribute to fewer ER visits, your child’s estimation of your IQ increases.

• The equation starts with your actual IQ and adjusts it up or down depending on whether the stuff in the brackets is above or below 1.

• If your child is smart, his/her estimation is more accurate (IQc on top and bottom).

• And here’s the part I like, as described by Will: “Your equation peaks at the age of 13, with a whopping loss of 25 points for boys, and 50 for girls, turning all parents into knuckle dragging apes.” Yes, I think that about covers it…

The winner of this week’s \$50.00 ThinkGeek Gift Certificate, randomly selected from correct entries, is Tim and his estimated 117 IQ, who apparently doesn’t yet have a teenage daughter. For everyone else, use the code GEEKDAD81AD for \$10.00 off your next order of \$50.00 or more at ThinkGeek.

Thanks for playing the puzzle and stay tuned for Monday’s installment from the inscrutable cipher king, Dave G.