Junie B. Jones Is Ruining My Life

Kids pick things up at day care and at school. I was prepared for that. When my daughter was two and a classmate came home from visiting relatives in New York with a new vocabulary of four-letter words, I expected those words to show up at our house. Miraculously, they never did. She’s five and a half now, and she’s always remained a more-or-less well-behaved child, despite other kids. In fact, I’d say she’s picked up better manners at school than I ever taught her.

Then a new kid showed up at school. Her name is Junie B. Jones, and she came in the form of my kid’s first chapter book.

I hate Junie B. Jones.

This isn’t a new complaint, either. Junie B. has apparently been annoying mothers ever since she appeared in 1992. But she’s new to me, so at first I was mystified at why my generally pleasant kid had become increasingly obnoxious. Now when she yells, “Finder keepers, losers weepers!” at her two-year old brother and takes his toy, I know who to blame. When she decided shoe licking would be a fun habit to pick up, I knew who to blame. And when she announced that she’d be calling her grandmother “Grandma Miller,” despite the fact that Grandma isn’t even related to any Millers, I should have already known why.

Read the rest of Ruth Suehle’s views on Junie B. Jones over at GeekMom.

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