How Not to Grow a Beard Month: Beards for Boobs

Geek Culture

Michael Harrison's journey to bearditude.Michael Harrison's journey to bearditude.

Photo: Michael Harrison

By this point, everyone knows all about Movember. Shave your face, grow a mustache, get pledges for Livestrong and the Prostate Cancer Foundation. This is a good thing!

But there is a similar tradition, as storied and honorable as Movember, but without the big PR campaign and celebrity influence. I refer to How Not To Grow A Beard Month.

In 2007, podcaster Kris Johnson was inspired (and more than a bit shamed) by Evo Terra’s own beard-growing prowess. Seeing as November was also National Novel Writing Month, Johnson combined the two events, and given his own lack of success in hirsutitude, he dubbed it “How Not To Grow A Beard Month”. He took a beard portrait every day and posted it on his website. Here’s how it panned out:

“After 30 days, my beard was (as predicted) less than impressive. Some of the words and phrases that were not used to describe it include thick, Norris-like, lush, Lincolnian and brawny. Despite this, I determined that HoNoToGroABeMo would be an annual event, and that I would invite anyone foolish enough to set aside their razor for a month to join me in my quest.”

Last year, the site’s web developer, Bob Voegerl, added a feature that allowed would-be beard-growers to collect donations for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Thus Beards4Boobs was born. I joined the fray and (like all others) lost to the Mighty Mur Lafferty, who won in spite of her natural inability to grow a beard.

This year, I’m going for the gold. So please consider giving a few bucks to the cause. Last year, we raised $3,708.23. This year, we’re hoping to break $5,000. Right now, we’ve got less than two days left, and we still need over $1,500 to beat last year’s total!

Here’s the deal, GeekDad readers: I guarantee that if we break our record, I will shave my beard clean on December 2nd. But I will attempt to capture as many facial hair types as I can while I remove it. Then I will post these photos on the Internet. This is well worth a few bucks, don’t you think?

Sponsor my beard or take your pick from the rogue’s gallery. Either way, please donate! Do it for the boobies!

† Though she did remind us all why it’s called Beards4Boobs. Flash a little cleavage and the world’s your damn oyster. Maybe I should give this a try…

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