Quit Smoking with the D&D Method

Geek Culture

Magical d20 : taking my geekiness to a whole n...Magical d20 : taking my geekiness to a whole n...

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Recently, Godfather of Nerdcore Hip-Hop MC Frontalot decided to quite smoking. Again. To spice up the process, Front elected to use a standard D&D convention to help him gradually reduce his intake: the saving throw.

You can play too! Here’s how.

1. Name your character. Mine’s Breathorr Inflatagon, a level 2 Lung Elf. You don’t have to roll up stats. If you’re a real stickler for form, go get your lungs x-rayed. The x-ray film is your character sheet.

2. Keep a d20 in your pack of cigarettes. If it doesn’t fit, keep die, lighter, and pack together in some kind of totable container. May I suggest a pouch?

3. Whenever you feel like smoking, that means the GM (you) is trying to poison your character (also you). Time for a saving throw! I decided the DC (Difficulty Class) for my save vs Poison is 15. Roll the d20. 15 and up: I am saved from that cigarette I wanted! Hooray? 14 and under: oh darn, I get to enjoy another satisfying and flavorful cancer treat.

From there it’s simply a matter of slowly lowering the DC for your roll each day into your smoking cessation campaign. This makes it easier for you to withstand these frequent "poisoning" attempts, and once you’re 15 days in you only smoke on a critical fail.

As a fellow who’s still tempted by the demon tobacco a decade after quitting smoking, I feel Frontalot’s pain. And while I doubt this technique will ever be approved by the American Cancer Society, it’s a nice place to start for fellow nerds who are looking to break the habit.

Get the full skinny at MC Frontalot’s official site, but be forewarned that the post contains a little salty language (including an appearance by Lady F-Bomb, High Priestess of Swear Words.)

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