10 Ridiculously Expensive Geeky Holiday Gifts

Hacking the Holidays

In this time of economic turmoil, with people everywhere having to cut back on their budgets, isn’t it refreshing to know that there are still companies out there selling things nobody needs at prices few can afford? Here is GeekDad’s list, in no particular order, of geeky (some only slightly so, some extremely so) gift items that you might consider buying for your loved ones, if you happen to have a pile of large bills sitting around doing nothing. If you know of others, please leave a comment.

1. Zoltar Speaks, the Fortune-Telling Machine from Big

– It’s not as cool as the one in the movie—this one doesn’t have that ramp to get the coin into Zoltar’s mouth. But it would definitely be a conversation piece. I mean, if nothing else, you could gripe about spending $9,000 on a silly machine that’s over six feet tall, just because it reminds you of a twenty-year-old movie.

2. LEGO Death Star – This is the ultimate in LEGO Star Wars
kits: 3803 pieces, scenes from both Death Stars, lots of minifigs, and a $400 pricetag. It would be a heck of an impressive thing to have in your house, but as for me, if I were to spend the time and energy assembling 3803 LEGO pieces, the idea of playing with the end product afterwards wouldn’t appeal much—what if it fell apart?!

3. Hand-Crafted Remote-Controlled Hydroplane
– This is a ridiculously-detailed model of a real 1953 Ferrari Arno hydroplane boat. According to the web page, it takes 200 hours to make each one, which makes you wonder why they didn’t just make it full size. Seriously, though, how much money do you have to have to be comfortable dropping two grand on an RC boat and then actually put it in the water and risk breaking it?

4. Life-Size Replica of Yoda – Fortunately, the "real" Yoda is pretty short, so even a life-size replica is only just over two feet tall. Still, I can’t imagine spending $700 to have Yoda in your house all the time, even if he does look ready to kick some Sith ass.

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5. Giant Balrog Head
Apparently Balrogs have uvulas—who knew? Now, for a mere $1,820, you can have a four-foot wide Balrog head on your wall, with its mouth wide open as though about to swallow your children and housepets. Rich Lord of the Rings fans who want to inspire nightmares in their families and guests, this is the item for you!

6. The Tesla Roadster
– It’s an all-electric car that’s gorgeous and can (so they say) go from 0 to 60 in under four seconds. But it’s $109,000, yet gets barely enough mileage on a charge to go from Washington, D.C. to New York
City. And then it takes thirty hours to recharge from a standard US
110v wall outlet, or eight from a 220v appliance outlet. Someone’s going to have to explain to me how this car is really better for the environment than a regular sports car.

7. Halo 3 Master Chief Costume
Yes, this is a truly awesome costume. For nine hundred bucks, it ought to be pretty awesome. One must wonder, though, since it comes in one
"standard" size, if it would fit many hard-core gamers’ bodies.

8. Jayne’s Shirt from Serenity – This one’s not a replica: It’s a shirt actually worn by Adam Baldwin as Jayne in the movie. At $999, it’s probably one of the top five
T-shirts in the world. And just think, it might have Jayne’s actual sweat stains still on it…which could be a plus or a minus, depending on your point of view.

9. A Piece of the First Death Star

You think the LEGO Death Star was cool? This is a section of the actual filming model of the Death Star’s surface from the original Star Wars movie’s final battle scene. Yeah, it’s three grand, but it’s literally a piece of movie history! Who cares if you can’t pay the rent/mortgage, right?

10. Name a species of tiny insects after someone – I really thought this was a joke when I first heard about it, but no, it’s serious. There are currently four species of midge available to be named, and it would be kind of a cute gag gift for someone—if the cheapest one weren’t $500! Husbands: Just imagine the look on your wife’s face as she opens the envelope containing the certificate, expecting a day at the spa perhaps, and finds that you’ve named a small, irritating insect after her. Frightening, isn’t it?

For the rest of us, check out:

10 Geeky Gifts Under $10.

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