Things to Remember While You’re Watching The Dark Knight

As everyone in the English-speaking world who’s more observant than a piece of gravel knows, the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight, opens tomorrow.  As a service to geeks, here is a list of things to keep in mind while watching the movie (while it is possible that there is, somewhere, a geek who doesn’t plan to see the movie, we think the likelihood of this is so remote as to be irrelevant).  We at GeekDad think that remembering these will make the experience of seeing the movie more enjoyable—not just for you, but possibly for anyone who sees the movie with you.

1. The movie is not intended to be perfectly faithful to the comic books.
2. That being said, it is supposed to take place in a comic book world, so the laws of physics can be bent somewhat more than in the average action movie.  Which is saying something, yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to mention it.
3. Well, OK, you can mention it once.
4. No matter how hard you trained, or how much money you suddenly had, you couldn’t become Batman.  Maybe some theoretical person could, but you are not theoretical, so that person is not you.
5. It is not the best movie ever made.  It may be the best movie based on a comic book ever made, in your opinion, but it is still not better than Casablanca or The Godfather, and you will only look like an fool if you argue otherwise.
6. Especially if you made the same argument about Iron Man back in May.
7. Everyone already knows that the producers of the movie have been exploiting Heath Ledger’s death.  Yes, it’s obnoxious, but it’s hardly very surprising:  Hollywood marketing and PR folks are known for their integrity the same way that Hell’s Angels are known for their cleanliness.
8. No.  Seriously.  You really couldn’t become Batman.  Get over it already.
9. Yes, Batman carries a whole lot more in his utility belt than is reasonable from either a bulk or a weight standpoint.  See point #2.
10. Of course the movie doesn’t live up to its hype.  In order to live up to that much hype, it would have to be a better action movie than Raiders of the Lost Ark, a better crime movie than Goodfellas, and a better violent drama than Apocalypse Now.  Ain’t happening.

Please add your own in the comments.

EDIT – Point of clarification: I didn’t mean to imply that I agree with absolutely everything in the list.  I was trying to put myself in the mindset of geeks (of which, of course, I am one) going to see the movie, based on comments I’ve heard and seen online, and wrote the post in response to what I imagined they might say.  As it happens, I think the marketing folks have capitalized a bit on Ledger’s death, mostly by releasing trailers of scenes with Joker as the only main character.  I don’t think they’ve exploited it that much, though, which is why I put the link in there.  But some people think they have.  I thought that was clear in the original post, but I was obviously mistaken.  My apologies.

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