Same Geek Channel Review ‘Arrow’ Episode 314 “The Return”

Reading Time: 5 minutes
Thea finally finds all the sexist BS hard to swallow. Source: CW.
Thea finally finds all the sexist BS hard to swallow.
Source: CW.

Welcome to Same Geek Channel where we review the last two episodes at once!

Corrina: Finally. All the secrets are out on Arrow. Keeping track made it feel for me like that episode of Friends where everyone said “I know that you know that I know that you know that I don’t know.”

And I’m plenty old enough to make that reference, Mordechai!

The condescending, patronizing and immature attitudes some of the characters on Arrow have toward the others, especially Ollie, has been one of these most annoying elements of the show. Ollie doesn’t want Diggle fighting because he’s a father. Ollie doesn’t want Thea dating Roy because he’s dangerous. Laurel doesn’t want to tell Dad about Sara being dead because it could hurt him.

If he survived his flashback hair, he can survive anything. Source: CW.
If he survived his flashback hair, he can survive anything.
Source: CW.

And the biggee, Ollie didn’t want to tell Thea she killed Sara because it would hurt her. Even though it would reveal the truth about Malcolm to her. It’s definitely the lesser of two evils, as I’ve argued, because, hello, Malcolm alive and with influence over Thea is far more damaging to Thea than Thea knowing she was brainwashed.

Ollie seems not to have done the math but, fortunately, fesses up under duress. Thea forgives him.

Mordechai: When Thea yells “”What is it going to take for you to stop treating me like this tiny, fragile, little object?!” I actually cheered out loud (on a 5:15 AM commuter bus. Ooops). Then later, when he confesses, she basically forgives him after, sheesh

I know we missed reviewing last episode, but Ollie really should have learned from when he revealed his ID. Thea goes from “Merlyn saved me so I trust him and he’s my real dad.” to “I hate you and I never want to see you again, only Ollie.” Whiplash.

Gotta love how Merlyn makes it worse by releasing Slade. Seriously? On what planet is that a good idea?

Corrina: Does Merlyn love his daughter? Survey says…nah. Poor Thea, stuck between a brother who wants to protect her from everything and a biological father who wants her to either survive or die.

Seriously, writers, we really didn't need one more reason not to trust him. Source: CW.
Seriously, writers, we really didn’t need one more reason not to trust him.
Source: CW.

Corrina: Laurel’s big reveal to Quentin about Sara’s death goes over less well, perhaps because she’s not Ollie. Captain Lance rightly calls his daughter out for being patronizing and then for flat-out lying to him by pretending to be Sara. Uh-oh. I worry now that Captain Lance is angry that he’ll die, because Arrow always goes for the maximum angst, whatever it is or whether it makes sense or not.

Like Thea being brainwashed to kill Sara so Malcolm can get Ollie to fight Ra’s. That’s a dumb idea to base the season on. That’s as dumb as Slade blaming Ollie for Shado’s death. If Malcolm thought Ollie lacked his killer instinct, why did he want Ollie to fight Ra’s anyway? Because even Ollie admits Malcolm has a better chance of winning.

My head hurts.

Mordechai: Because badass murderer Malcolm is a wussbag, I guess.

And hey, how about that flashback? The only thing dumber that having a white guy as your secret agent in Hong Kong is having the guy running around the one city where everyone knows his face. Seriously, everyone. I get the biometrics excuse, but still, dumb spycraft.

Master of disguise! Source: CW.
Master of disguise!
Source: CW.

Corrina: Why did Waller recruit Ollie again? I forget. Is the reason as dumb as why Merlyn brainwashed Thea to kill Sara?

But, wait, we have one more secret Laurel doesn’t know because the first rule of Arrow is that Laurel is always the last to know.

So Laurel doesn’t know Malcolm brainwashed Thea into killing Sara. Because Ollie is being a patronizing jerk again. By the way, shouldn’t someone tell Captain Lance who killed his daughter? And why should Malcolm live after he killed a guard on the island anyway? Cold, Ollie, to let that guy go unavenged.

Mordechai: There! That’s my biggest issue with Malcolm wanting Ollie’s killer edge back. Isn’t that essentially the only thing keeping Merlyn alive? He’s a mass murdering madman who is responsible for the death of Ollie’s father, his best friend, and countless others. Why the hell is he alive at all?

Corrina:  Good point. If Ollie is back to killing people, Malcolm has to be #1 on his list.

I do like Thea being badass.

So very, very badass. Source: CW.
So very, very badass.
Source: CW.

I hate the flashbacks this season.

Mordechai: So agreed. They were great in the first season and they imparted important information in the second. This time around though, they’re just something I want to get through. Yes, the crack about just pulling a hoodie down not being an effective disguise, even with greasepaint, was cute. And sure, that Ollie had been to the factory that would become his club before was neat. But it’s taking time away from the story this time, not adding to it.

Oh, but points for introducing Matthew Shrieve, of DC’s Creature Commandos. Makes me wonder what the Omega actually does. Not so much care, but wonder.

Corrina: So what’s next? I imagine lots of emoting when Laurel finds out Thea killed Sara. Perhaps Laurel will try to kill Malcolm. I like that. Somebody should kill Malcolm. Better yet, how about Captain Lance kills Malcolm?

I know, I’m supposed to root for the heroes to be good people but Malcolm has achieved Joker-level heights in his murder spree. It’s time to either lock him up or kill him. From a story standpoint, he’s overstayed his welcome. I love John Barrowman but it’s time to move forward.

Also, when does Thea get a mask and costume and what color should it be? What goes with green, red and black? Hmm….blue is a primary color and they haven’t used it yet, so I vote blue.

Join us next time on Same Geek Channel to see if the show ever answers these questions plus watch up ponder how long it will take for Diggle’s baby to be kidnapped! That baby is about due to be used as a plot device.

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