This holiday season, GeekDad isn’t content to just watch classic movies every night. We are powering up the festivities with a quest: Which of our beloved Christmas icons is the biggest geek? Eight movie characters filled the initial bracket — seeded by virtue of their film’s inflation-adjusted budgets — but there can be only one.
Today, the four remaining fictional characters continue their respective battles to see who is geekiest, as determined by popular vote on Quipol.
One day into the bracket, and we’ve had a pair of higher seeds tumble hard. The four remaining competitors includes a human raised by elves, a cop in the wrong place and the right time, an optimistic boy with a plan, and a king who captured Christmas.
The first-round results:
Buddy the Elf defeats Kevin McCallister (53% – 47%) — The closest of the four battles, Buddy needed all the Christmas spirit his geek fans could muster to finally pull ahead of Kevin McCallister for good. Left home alone, the defeated 8-year-old had successfully protected his house with traps worthy of Instructables and managed to buy a toothbrush, too. In the end, though, Buddy’s sugar high was more durable. Say good night, Kevin.
John McClane over Stripe (70% – 30%) — The most one-sided battle was never a contest, as the NYC cop didn’t even need a blender to take care of the mean-streaked gremlin.
Jack Skellington over George Bailey (64% – 36%) — Poor George Bailey didn’t have a prayer. He lost $8,000 and his first-round battle with the Pumpkin King, despite coming in as a title contender (Let’s face it: If anyone on this list could write for GeekDad, it’s probably George). The lure of Tim Burton’s stop-motion cosplay musical was too great for Mr. Bailey to overcome. It was like he had never been born.
Ralphie over Grinch (68% – 32%) — Ralphie pulled the trigger on a win, advancing to the second round. It was the Grinch who was speaking in strange tongues after the convincing defeat. He probably shouldn’t have had that second slice of Roast Beast.
At the end of the day, the votes for the next two battles will be tallied, with the winners advancing to the Finals on Friday.
Round Two: The Final Four
Likes to rescue hostages
This Die Hard cop (1988, $53M) is cut from the Mythbusters mold, where guns and C4 are a raw material for creativity. McClane is also quick-witted and snarky.
Wired: Makes use of limited resources to take down a dozen terrorists
Tired: Pretty certain most of his techniques have been busted
Buddy the Elf
Likes to whisper
As a human in an elf’s world, Buddy couldn’t make quota. He may be a cotton-headed ninnymuggins in Santa’s workshop, but he can sure work the bricks in Gimbel’s department store. In Elf (2003, $40M), Buddy shows his versatility with paper, lite-brite and snow.
Wired: Human catapult for snowballs
Tired: Poorly caffeinated, given inexperience with coffee
Gets snow from Santa
In The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993, $28M), the Pumpkin King is bored with the same old same-old. He goes for a walk in the woods and discovers alternate universes. Failing to understand Christmas, he appropriates it and starts innovating.
Wired: Loves seeking knowledge, experimenting with new ideas
Tired: Could have checked Wikipedia’s entry on Christmas
Gets boot from Santa
The hero from A Christmas Story (1983, $9M) is a keen strategist with a high success rate. He is a connoisseur of soap — a byproduct of his Fudge-ing language — and a crack cryptologist.
Wired: Didn’t shoot his eye out
Tired: Slave to rules, abandons friend to conform