Scary Bad Halloween Jokes for the Whole Family

It’s always a good time for a bad joke. Halloween gives us all kinds of monsters and mayhem to play with. We think it is a ghoulishly good time for some ammunition when the neighborhood kids need a little trick with their treat. Enjoy these fun and awful Halloween jokes!

Why are graveyards so loud?
Because of all the coffin!

What morbid humor.

What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine!

Some might say a blood orange would be just as welcome.

Why did the skeleton stay home from the scary movie?
He didn’t have the guts to go.

And we don’t have the heart to tell him what happened either.

What is the best plant for a ghost?

The only problem is they don’t make very good boo-quets.

Why did the witch get kicked out of school?
She failed her spelling tests!

Perhaps she could go into deliveries.

Why doesn’t Frankenstein drink coffee?
He prefers a good Jolt.

Caffeine certainly helps my personality be more electrifying.

What do you say about a bad mummy joke?
It Sphinx!

Maybe these aren’t very good riddles.

Why do ghosts hate the rain?
It dampens their spirits.

Don’t boo us off the stage just yet, there’s more!

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
Spare ribs!

Just don’t take any home in a doggy bag!

Why are there fences around graveyards?
People are dying to get in!

Hopefully the line isn’t so long we need a bouncer. That would be awkward.

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What did Frankenstein do when the school bell rang?
He bolted.

Maybe your kids want to get home to their electronics too.

Why does Dracula go to the circus?
He goes for the juggler.

There’s just no good excuse for that joke.

Why did the ghost get caught lying?
You could see right through him.

Maybe a darker sheet would have prevented that sheer mistake.


Share these with all the little monsters this Halloween! You’ll be sure to get some extra boos, hisses, groans, and moans!

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Angela Leach: GeekMom Ang is located in rural Eastern Oregon, where she is raising two children (Derp, 16, and Squirrel, 12) and a husband (MCJ) with the help of two dogs (Abby and Bella) and her Emotional Support Human (E). Her hobbies are varied and eclectic. You'll find her writing just as often about history and obscure facts as tabletop gaming and how to cream your teenagers at Scrabble.
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