Hey you. You use Pinterest, right? Cool. Awesome. Love to see you here. Love your Doctor Who board—like whoa. And your recipe collection was seriously inspiring.
But could you do me a favor?
Could you stop it with the phrase, “I could never?”
Not sure what I mean? Here. Let me help you.
I could never pull off that lipstick.
I could never find the time to do that craft.
I could never get the recipe right.
I could never be that fit.
I could never get my husband to agree.
I could never manage that hair color.
Sound familiar?
Why do we do this? Why do we see things we like/want to try/aspire to be/want to experience, and immediately cut ourselves down? Is it societal? Must be.
Think about it this way: If you heard your child speaking that way, what would you say? I’d turn around immediately and tell my daughter that she’s wrong. That she can try and do anything she wants, whether it’s teal hair or knitting herself a full-length Doctor Who scarf or perfecting a baklava recipe. That even if it doesn’t work right, that’s not what matters. Lipstick can be changed. Recipes can be tried again. Hair will grow.
Life is too short to cut yourself short! Not to get all Stuart Smalley on you, but y’know what? You. Are. Awesome.
Sure, Pinterest is good for dreaming. And sure, there are going to be things we never get to in our lives. But please, please. Rock that pin. Rock the ensuing selfie. Rock it, love it, embrace it. If it turns out wrong, tell the story, pour yourself a glass of wine, and laugh it off.
THIS! The most common comment I get all over social media when sharing my craft stuff – including even the beginner-friendly or kid-friendly tutorials – is “Oh I could never do that.” I think it’s people’s way of saying, “I like this but can’t be bothered to try because I may not be perfect on the first go and I don’t feel like practising.” Which is fine if they don’t want to invest the effort, but it’s a really negative way of saying it. A better comment to express that would be, “I really admire your practised skill and/or patience for this project!” The “I could never” feels like a downer and I suspect discourages others from trying. There’s an implicit, “Because if I fail on the internet everyone will mock me and be right to do so,” which is not cool. More folks need to be encouraged to try stuff and remember that failure is always an option. It’s part of learning and nobody gets to be good at anything without messing up along the way.
YES. I’m just so tired of the self-deprication. You haven’t even TRIED it yet, and you’re already claiming defeat. Women need to stop doing this.
Nope.
I have a board specifically for crafts I like and will never attempt. I can acknowledge things which are lovely which do not fit who I am and how I live. Just as one can like that empire waist strapless gown with an extreme asymmetrical hem in fuschia, and know that it would look terrible on one’s pear shaped body.
I cannot make every quilt I think is beautiful; I don’t have the time and other hobbies take priority. I won’t do any of those paper crafts for the same reason. I pin them because they may inspire something else some day. And that’s alright by me.
I just put bright red streaks in my hair and the woman next to me when paying smiled and said ‘ I could never pull those off but I LOVE IT! ‘ I get it, if you are in a high powered job, even if you are an artist, some ladies may be timid to take chances with things. We need the brave to keep being brave and to lead the way, in crafts, in style, in thinking, in life.