Like most people on this planet, I really stink at golf. You might just be awful… or slightly bad. But me? I’m horrendous. I have to be told in which direction to tee off. My friends want me to play with them so they feel better about their own game. If putting the ball in the drink was the goal, I’d be as successful as Phil Mickelson. Do I need to continue?
I guess what I’m getting at is this — I’m not PGA material. And I’m okay with that. Really. Because I don’t need the PGA. I’ve found an organization that accepts my slices and sees them as artistic expressions rather than mistakes. They know my choice of the 7 iron isn’t correct, but they applaud my spirit in overestimating my equipment skills beyond placing the wooden tee. And they understand that five strokes over just means I’m getting plenty of practice with my short game.
You gotta love an organization that accepts me… and YOU… without asking about our handicap. And that’s why I’m asking you, fellow non-pro golfers, to consider helping this organization get off the ground (heh) with a round (heh) of fundraising.
What is this organization that accepts golfers — the decent, the poor, the pathetic?
It’s the LTPGA — Less Than Perfect Golfers Association. And they rock. And they’re also in need of some funding.
Here’s the deal — they’ve got a lot of cool rewards for backers, but let’s face it. It’s the hat. You can wear that on the course with pride. Or as an excuse. Your call. It’s meant as a reminder to not take the game so seriously.
Let’s face it — even if you don’t play golf, you know someone that does. Yes. You do. Ask around.
You may even be somewhat not-bad at the game yourself. I’m not going to question your honesty here.
But you… or a friend… or a boss (the shirt makes a great anonymous gift)… or a spouse… or maybe that poor individual who just tossed his clubs into the water… someone you know or care about or at least feel sorry for… they deserve a membership. And membership is cheap, folks! $5 for a couple of stickers for the car! $10 for a tailgate magnet! $25 for a hat (and 2 stickers to apply to your boss’ car and your best friend’s)! $45 for a polo shirt! And the backing options get better! Be sure to ask your boss if the company can sponsor at the $30,000 backer level — he’ll get to be President of the LTPGA for a year and the LTPGA will work with him (or you) to develop a ProAm complete with super-expensive mega vase trophy!
Me? I don’t have $30,000 to claim the Presidency, but that hat is all I need to declare my membership with the world!
These are real tears spilling on my keyboard as I write this… finally, a group that will accept the fact that under par just isn’t part of my vocabulary.
Won’t you help? Please… spread the word. This is a real chance to create an organization of which we can all be proud to be members.
Finally, an organization for you and me. Those of you mediocre or somewhat-decent players will be the ones that my kind looks up to… wants to be like. Because we all can dream of the day when our skills are bumped up just a bit. When a slice occasionally works in our favor. When par is sooo close we can taste it.
Let’s go golfing! (Yes, we can call it that — because we’re members.)
