To Whom It May Concern at DC Comics:
Usually, I don’t have time to write a letter like this because I’m out uncovering corruption in Metropolis or investigating the latest scheme by Lex Luthor to discredit Superman. Or, in a quiet moment, enjoying some time with my husband, Clark (Superman) Kent.
But due to the latest editorial decisions, I’m no longer a field reporter and I’m longer married. In fact, The Superman Group Editor even called me a “trophy wife.” While I won’t dignify that insult with a reply, I’m a bit concerned that many making the editorial decisions at DC don’t seem to know what to do with me. I have no idea why.
For instance, in current DC universe, I’m sitting behind a desk, giving orders and filling out forms (which is why I have time to write this letter). Does this make any sense to you? I am the premier investigative reporter in my world — it was once said that my reputation rolls ahead of me like a steamroller. I’m not the kind of person who should ever sit behind a desk, no matter if the job is high status or not. Starfleet once made James T. Kirk sit behind a desk. That didn’t end well for anyone. He belongs in a starship. I belong out there in my city, bringing truth to light.
I’m not very happy about the loss of the support of my husband either.
We had a long, happy marriage of equals. Now, I can understand why creators would like to turn back to the clock and write our courtship again. Courtship is fun and interesting to write and doesn’t require nearly as much creative energy as making a marriage interesting. However, there does not seem to be any courtship happening. In fact, I seem to have shacked up with some annoying man, who points a lot, for a night of fun sex designed not to so much be fun for me, but to make Clark feel bad.
But, hey, at least in this reality, I’m alive. So far, in other universes, I’ve been killed three times in the last year. I expected to die spectacularly in the big Flashpoint event, since it was supposed to be a nasty alternate reality, but I’m a bit bummed that my death once again had no real purpose save to cause Superman angst. I also died in the DCU Online game, but I suppose that also might be excused since so many heroes die as players move along in that game.
But killing me off on Earth-2 was the most cutting blow. Earth-2 used to be the DC alternate reality where things were different, where even if heroes aged, they were allowed to live and have families. I had a long, happy successful marriage on Earth-2 and was enjoying my old age with my family and friends around me.
My wedding day on Earth-2
But in the new Earth-2 I’m dead, and angst over my death has moved my Clark to contemplate becoming a killer? “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” as Perry would say (except he’s likely dead over there as well. Or maybe not, since he’s a man). Also dead apparently are Selina Kyle-Wayne, and the entire Amazon nation save Princess Diana, Wonder Woman. (And I missed the chance to be drawn by Nicola Scott too!)
That’s a lot of women to fridge all at once and I must roll my eyes in particular at the destruction, yet again, of the Amazons. They’ve been killed en masse in Flashpoint, in J. Michael Straczynski’s revamp of the character, and several times before that.
To quote a writer who seems to know how to make a female character pro-active rather than a prop, “Bored now.”
If you add my deaths, Selina’s Earth-2 death, the Amazons, and the need to get rid of all the DC Universe married couples, including Barry Allen and Wally West (who aren’t even dating), and leave only Aquaman and Mera as DC’s lone married couple, I submit that perhaps someone at DC Editorial is more against marriage in general than Joe Quesada is against Spider-Man being married.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go yell at some stupid junior reporter who broke their arm when they didn’t move fast enough to avoid a car being tossed around in a fight between Superman and the Parasite.
Sincerely,
Lois Lane
P.S. Could you please, if you can’t write me better, send me over to the Secret Identity universe written by that sweet and talented Kurt Busiek? Thanks!
