5 Fun Piratical Projects for Landlubbers

Talking like a pirate is a lot of fun in and of itself, but — let’s be honest — it gets a little annoying if you really do it all day long. So, what other things can you do to act like a pirate without necessarily talking like one? Glad you asked.

1. Bury some treasure – What could be more quintessentially piratical than this? It’s not that hard to do, and it’s a heck of a lot of fun for everyone involved.

2. Attach a stuffed parrot to your shoulder – Of course, real pirates didn’t walk around with parrots on their shoulders, because even dirty, smelly pirates don’t want bird poop on their backs. Plus, given the scarcity of decent food on long sea voyages, a parrot would likely have become a meal in short order. But it’s still fun. You could go the route of sewing a Velcro strap to the parrot’s bottom and putting the strap around your shoulder, but then the parrot’s likely to slip off. I suggest a geekier route: Get yourself some strong magnets — neodymium ones would work well, though be super-careful if you go that route. Then open a seam on the parrots bottom and sew one in there, and use another one on the inside of your shirt to attach it.

3. Make a Jolly Roger flag.

4. Make and drink some grog, and some virgin grog for the kids.

5. Buy a small toy steering wheel, and attach it to your fly. Wait for someone to ask. Yeah, it’s juvenile, but admit it: It would be pretty darned funny.