Now that jocks are back, we in the Coalition of the Swilling should revel in the fact that we’ve defeated the polyhedral-dice-rolling evildoers. Everyone, holler at that Natural Ice and check out the best 10 things about being a JockDad.
10. I can finally admit I learned everything I need to know by watching "The Bachelor."
9. I no longer need to pine for nerd cars like the Smart. Chevy Avalanche for me, baby! Remember, if my car can crush yours, that means I’m dominant.
9. I can appreciate the sublime edification of UFC matches without pondering the existential implications of modern-day gladiatorial pugilism. Uh, I mean, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
8. Chris Hovan is the mightiest athlete EVER and I will CRUSH anyone who says otherwise! No, this does not relate to poindexters.
7. I’m the swirlier, instead of the swirlee.
5. Now, not only am I not ashamed to call Tech Support, I’m downright proud admit my technical ignorance to those eggheads.
6. Being alpha means I make my own rules… about numbering, and everything else! You don’t like my numbering?! (punches fist into palm)
4. NASCAR will become an Olympic sport. Or else.
3. I can use all-caps SMS-talk in regular emails, like: "TED SEZ UR GOING TO BLINK-182?????? STFU!!!!! OK, CU THERE!"
1. FINALLY there’s a blog about MY LIFE: Drinking Natty Ice, combatting ‘athletic discomfort’ and the fine art of TV watching. In short, JockDad.
(Photo Credit: Bre Pettis, Community Commons)